A Life Lesson From My Dentist’s Chair

Disclaimer: This blog entry contains dental imagery that may not be suitable for our more sensitive readers. 😊 (You’ve been warned).

So, there I was……lying back, mouth agape, smoke pouring outwards. The drill was loudly whirring as I fought back my gag reflex.

And very suddenly I realized……I’m not completely numb.

I confess……my realization was not as cerebral as the sentence above.

It was more like, “Agggggggghhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrr!” (It’s hard to be articulate when somebody’s fist is knuckle-deep towards your throat.

Calmly, he asked, “Something vexes thee?” (or something condescending like that).

I informed him that, despite the multiple injections of numbing goodness, I definitely felt that.

He was barely fazed…..but was kind enough to numb me again.

“We’ll work on the other tooth while that one is numbing.”  (Golly…..thanks doc)

The other tooth seemed more cooperative.

After several minutes he returned to the former tooth and, guess what, it still wasn’t numb! However, I really needed the bridge to be put in so I remembered the words of my dearly departed mother:

“Suck it up.”

And so, I did……..I gripped the sides of the chair, but didn’t make a peep, all the while dissociating by staring at one little spot on the ceiling.

Finally, he indicated that he was done with that part…..and that the “mill” would be fashioning my bridge. He told me that, between the mill and the furnace, I would have about a 60-90 min break.

I nodded but in my head I was like, “the mill and furnace? Am I in medieval Europe or what?”

So, I lay in the chair, listening to the sound of the machines, dozing towards unconsciousness (probably because of the pain) as heavy rain sprayed the windowpane.

Time passed……..my eyelids drooped…..all was right with the world.

And then, everything stopped and things got dark.

No, I didn’t pass out……….but I realized that the storm had knocked the power off completely.

The office was suddenly dark.

I could hear the office staff chattering excitedly, and the dentist trying to rally the troops calmly. Other patients were suddenly nervous as they were in mid-drilling.

Someone came back and checked on me and told me the power should come back on shortly.

Three hours later, I was still there…..and it was still dark.

To his credit, the dentist really tried to make it all work. He informed me that my bridge was three minutes from being finished when the power went out and that he would do all he could to complete it. Over the course of those three hours, I could hear his efforts. I couldn’t understand everything he was doing, but he was talking about Allen wrenches, backup mills, and checked the electric company’s site for when the power might be restored.

At one point…..and I’m not making this up……..he actually ran an extension cord from his backup mill to his car battery, sat in his car, and revved the engine to try to get enough juice to run the mill. I’m not kidding. Here he is, educated dentist, and I hear him yelling from his car, asking if it’s getting enough voltage.

At that point, he totally had my respect.

But as I lay there, biding my time……several things occurred.

First, all the other patients there eventually got tired of waiting and left. I could hear them making their excuses and leaving. I understood……sitting there in a hot dentist office for 3 hours was like many descriptions of purgatory I’ve read.

I was also struck by how much the dentist and his staff tried to take matters into their own hands. As I said before, he did all he could. His staff was getting bottled water for patients, trying to joke with them and keep them calm. The dentist was suddenly MacGyver, trying to jury-rig everything from his internet connection to the backup mill to the aforementioned “furnace.”

But it was all for naught because, try as he might, he could not restore the power. It was not in his control. And no matter how hard his staff tried, all the patients left anyway.

And I realized, as I lay there in dental chair #3……..much of life is out of our control.

We spend a lot of time trying to avoid that little tidbit.

In the face of this, we often resort either to avoidance or seizing control. I saw both of those extremes in the dentist’s office yesterday. The patients could not stand to be there in the dark and so they left…..avoiding the discomfort of waiting. The dentist wanted to believe he could fix it…that if he tried hard enough he could change the situation. He did his darndest to take back control, but he failed.

Because our belief that we can control things is often an illusion, and so what do we do with that?

We are reminded of this when natural disasters hit. We live in a world with incredible technology and conveniences. This gives us a sense of control. It creates a sense that we are secure, that we are so sophisticated and so powerful that nothing can touch us.

And then the tornado hits. The earthquake shakes. The landslide rumbles.

And the power goes out…..and we have no internet…….or light……or air conditioning……and in the blink of an eye we are reminded of how vulnerable we can be.

I’m no different.

I mean, in that dental chair I just tried to relax and be at peace. I knew I couldn’t control the electricity and so I let it go. I also knew that I wanted to get that bridge, so I stayed. I just tried to embrace the powerlessness and trust that the dentist could manage things.

Eventually, I went home with a temporary tooth and a promise he would fix it later.

But in life?

I’m no better at handling this sense of helplessness than most people.

I, too, grasp for control even when it’s out of my hands.

Sometimes I respond to helplessness by trying to escape…..hoping to avoid the feeling of powerlessness.

But the older I get, the more I try to lean into my faith that there is a Creator who loves me and will sustain me.

I know…..I know……that sounds preachy…..cheesy maybe.

But it’s true.

I mean, the truth is that much of life is out of our control. We are at the mercy of other people’s choices, to the whims of weather, and to the fickleness of our gadgets. As hard as we try, we cannot fully control whether we get sick or not, or whether we get into an accident, or if we are fired by our jobs.

No matter how much we do to try to stay in control or, conversely, how much we try to avoid………there is much in life that we simply cannot impact.

And again, I ask……what do we do with that?

Grabbing for control of what we can never control leads to nothing but anxiety.

Trying to escape and avoid leads to all kinds of things, addiction, pent-up stress, depression.

And so…what can we do?

Maybe we stop fighting so hard to play God.

Maybe we stop believing that if we just try a little harder, prepare a little more, or worry a little longer, we can somehow insulate ourselves from disappointment, uncertainty, or pain.

Perhaps the better answer is to loosen our grip.

Control what we can. Release what we can't.

The older I get, the more I realize that faith isn't confidence that life will cooperate with my plans. It's trusting that I won't have to walk through life alone when it doesn't.

Honestly, that’s the lesson I needed from dental chair #3.

Sometimes the power goes out.

Sometimes the bridge isn't finished.

Sometimes all our best efforts still fall short.

And yet…the world keeps turning.

There is still grace for the next day. There is still strength for the next challenge. There is still a God who walks with us, even when we feel powerless.

Maybe peace isn't found in controlling everything around us.

Maybe peace is found in finally admitting that we were never meant to.

And, honestly,  that’s not bad news at all.