“Broken Cisterns and Leaky Wells”

Welcome back, dear reader.

I’ve been off the grid for a couple of weeks, taking a much-needed vacation to spend time with my lovely bride and to decompress, take a breath, and seek the Lord.

And, you know……what better way to accomplish all those things at once than going on a Caribbean cruise?

My wife loves cruising. She’s a native of the island of Puerto Rico and, therefore, the beach is her happy place. She loves the ocean, the breathtaking views, the endless opportunities to shop, and the myriad of activities that cruises offer. This particular cruise was a celebration of her 50th birthday, a milestone that demands attention.

I admit though, that we were both nervous. Believe it or not, in our entire 23 years of marriage, we have never been on a vacation alone for this long. In fact, I think we’ve only gone away twice before, and for less than three days each. So, as we looked ahead to this nine day, eight-night adventure, we did so with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

What will we talk about without kids around?

What will we do together?

What if we argue?

What if we look at each other one day and ask, “Umm…..and you are?”

I am happy to report that none of this was the case. In fact, for us….the vacation couldn’t have been better. We talked. We connected. We laughed. It was wonderful.

But in the early morning hours which have become more and more a haven for me as I get older……I noticed something.

The truth is I no longer sleep well. More precisely, no matter how hard I try, I cannot sleep in anymore. Oh, I remember the days of adolescence when waking up at 11am felt like the crack of dawn. But those days are long gone and now, if I can stay in bed past 6am, I consider it a coup.

Because of this, I have embraced the early morning hours as the perfect time to journal, to pray, to read…….now I love these quiet moments in the early morning haze. And so, even on vacation, I treasured the moments when I could get up, go down to get the next punch on my “specialty coffee card” and to have quiet moments with God.

As part of that, and really throughout each day, I also did a lot of people watching. Not just watching mindlessly, but there was something about the dynamics of the cruise combined with the extra time I had in contemplation and prayer that magnified my natural empathy…..my “radar” for how people around me are feeling. As a counselor, this is both a blessing and a curse; the ability to feel what others are feeling, to put myself into their shoes and, often, to see things from their perspective. And on this ship, my “Spidey sense” was really tingling.

Whether it was in the early morning, when so many would drag themselves downstairs to start the day with a cup of java……eyes red and bloodshot, hair disheveled, many of them hungover from the night before…….or throughout the busy day, when people were milling around like an army of ants…….I sensed a myriad of emotions.

There was certainly some joy and happiness. Families laughing together, creating memories, enjoying one another’s presence. I saw much of that as I looked around.

I also saw anger on board…..frustration. Parents at the end of their ropes with the kids……couples clearly giving each other the cold shoulder or even actively engaged in conflict. Another cruiser told me that he witnessed a fistfight on the cruise the week before when multiple passengers indulged in too much alcohol and got so violent that they were confined to their quarters for the remainder of the week.

As I peered around, I also sensed something else. I couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard I tried to distract myself.

It was this pervasive feeling of emptiness.

Underneath the veneer of shopping, drinking, activities, eating, bingo, slot machines, silly game shows, Broadway performances, and all the rest that goes with a cruise……my radar kept sensing the deep sense of emptiness that comes when no matter how much people try to distract themselves or avoid the difficulties of life, they realize that when the activities are over…..when the buzz wears off……when the excursion comes back to shore…..when the games are over…….they are still faced with the loneliness and lack of meaning and hope that so many carry in their hearts.

The aura of that kind of overarching sadness was something I just couldn’t shake as I watched the crowd.

And it constantly reminded me of one of my favorite verses in scripture; a verse that I believe profoundly describes the human experience whenever we look for meaning and purpose apart from the Creator.

The verse is found in the book of Jeremiah, chapter 2, verse 13. It is the Lord speaking through the prophet here,

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, BROKEN cisterns that cannot hold water.”

It is only one verse…..but, to me, it encapsulates so much I have experienced in my own life when I was running from God, and it, in a nutshell, illustrates all I have seen in my decades of counseling and working with people. It is a biblical picture that explains addiction, loneliness, despair, restlessness, and depression. It points to the origins of anxiety, hopelessness, materialism, and isolation. Truly, this one verse paints a picture of the emptiness I sensed on the cruise last week as well as all the struggles I have walked through with people over the course of time.

The message is simply this: Anytime we hunt for meaning, purpose, or value apart from God, we are simply digging our own cisterns…….digging our own wells, looking for water apart from the Lord, who is the “living water.”  And the caveat is this…..every time we dig our own wells…..they leak. Even if we find water there, the water dries up, and we get thirsty again.

Think of how this applies so perfectly to addiction. It could be any addiction, but let’s consider pornography addiction. The first time someone is exposed to pornography, it is exhilarating and shameful at the same time. It triggers all kinds of chemical responses in the brain; it is exciting, thrilling, forbidden, and the rush of adrenaline that is felt is intoxicating.

But that feeling never lasts. The cistern leaks…….the excitement trickles out of the cracks, and we are left with a sense of shame, and eventually our brain begins to get thirsty.

So…….we go back to the well. We seek out the forbidden….more porn….and over time, we must seek out pornography that is increasingly deviant simply to try to duplicate that initial thrill.

But the well keeps leaking. Those moments of excitement never last……they drift away, and we are left, once again, with shame and emptiness.

And the pattern repeats.

You could insert any addiction into this scenario. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be about addiction. It’s really about any attempt we make to find meaning, value, and purpose apart from the Lord.

The pursuit of wealth? Awesome! But it leaks. No matter how much money we make, it’s never enough to make us happy for long.

Materialism? Exciting! But, after a brief time, no matter what we have….no matter how cool the gadget, the car, or the item…….it gets old. After a few months, a Lamborghini is no more exciting than a Ford Taurus, and so we must go back to the well and get something newer. Something that excites us again.

I could go on and on in this.

No matter what……when we start digging our own wells, instead of drinking from the spring of living water that is the Lord, we will never be satisfied for long.

Never.

Nada.

You might feel a thrill for a time, but it just won’t last. The well always leaks.

St. Augustine, who sought happiness and satisfaction in everything imaginable from knowledge to sex to wealth finally wrote this;

“You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.”

The writer of the book of Ecclesiastes constantly referred to his various pursuits of earthly treasures as, “meaningless” apart from God.

That perfectly describes what I sensed on the cruise….a sense of meaningless….emptiness….and so people flitted from activity to activity…..they drank and drank……they tried their luck at the slots……they ate until they couldn’t eat any more…….but it still felt like there was this overarching sense that none of it made them happy for long.

And it never will.

And so, as I sat there drinking my specialty coffee and writing in my journal……that aura of emptiness washing over my heart……it just led me to press deeper into God.

It helped me to realize all over again that everything in this life drifts away.

Cars rust out.

Furniture breaks down.

Money comes and goes.

Even our health won’t last forever.

The only unchangeable, ever faithful, perfectly loving person we can count on is a Heavenly Father who invites us into relationship with Him. The One who promises that He is a spring of living water…..who later told the woman at the well that whoever drinks from Him will never go thirsty again.

In a world of leaky wells and broken cisterns, He is the only spring that never runs dry.

I wonder what well you've been drinking from lately. Achievement? Approval? Busyness? Comfort? Success? Escape? Maybe it's something no one else even knows about. None of those things are necessarily evil, but none of them were ever meant to become our source. They all leak eventually. They all leave us thirsty again. Maybe that's why you're still searching. But beneath all the noise of this weary world, there is still a spring of living water flowing quietly, still inviting weary travelers to come and drink. You don't have to keep digging. You don't have to keep striving. You don't have to keep wondering if the next well will finally satisfy.

The Father has been inviting you to His spring all along.