“We’re All Just a Little Nuts”

One of my favorite things to say when someone tells me I’m a geek is, “We’re all geeks about something.”

Isn’t that the truth?

Maybe you’re into model cars, or flying drones.

Perhaps you collect stamps or antique oil lamps.

My sister has a stove from the 1920’s that is her everyday, “go-to” stove.

My wife……no lie…….well, there’s no easy way to say this….she loves to sit and watch videos of cruise ships sitting in port. Really…..they’re just sitting there…..in port. And she’s like, “Honey, look at this!!”

I have a good friend who explores yard sales for antique tools.

My brother searches diligently for arrowheads or other Native American artifacts.

We…are…all….geeks…..for……SOMETHING.

Personally, I am a geek for baseball. I always have been. But that’s normal, I think.

What may not be so normal is that I am also a geek for classic writing.

It could be classic literature. I enjoy reading things like “Moby Dick” or “Les Miserables.”  I view reading Steinbeck as quality leisure time.

But what I REALLY geek out about is reading ancient Christian books on walking with God.

For more than 20 years I have been on a quest to read as many books about walking with God as I can.

What does it look like? How does God speak to us? How can we listen better? What am I missing?

I read them because I really want to know. I really want to press into that journey. As much as He will allow me to, I want to know God.

Yesterday, I started a book called, “Revelations of Divine Love” by Julian of Norwich, who I assumed was a man until I realized she was an “anchoress” meaning she was just a regular gal who committed herself to a life of contemplation and prayer in a small dwelling they called an “anchorhold.”  (See how geeky I can get?)

Anyway, my goal was to read the first chapter or to read until something grabbed my attention enough that I needed to stop and pray over it.

I lasted about 8 pages.

I won’t give you the entire biography of Julian (I don’t want to be THAT geeky with you), but she suffered a terrible illness, one where she believed she was going to die. And while she was in that state, she had a vision she believed was from the Lord.

In this vision, she saw something in her hand that looked like a hazelnut….tiny….fragile…..she even feared it might disintegrate right there in her hand.

Now……I’ve never held a hazelnut, so I wasn’t sure what that looked like.

I mean, I have had quite a bit of Coffeemate Hazelnut creamer, but I wasn’t sure that qualified me as an expert……so I looked it up. And yes, it seemed pretty small.

But back to Julian’s vision. As she pondered the nut in her hand, she had a deep impression that the nut represented all of creation.

Everything.

The land, the seas, the animals, the birds, the people……..everything.

And the idea was that, to God, it’s all very tiny and fragile.

If you’re my age, the song “He’s got the whole world in His hands” probably popped into your head. If you’re younger……you can find it on Spotify, I’m sure.

To Julian, all of creation was represented by something so fragile that she wondered how it could possibly continue to exist.

How could something so delicate endure?

She realized that even though she could hold the nut, she could not preserve it.

And creation is like that for us. We can hold our children, but we cannot always control their outcomes. We can hold onto our hopes and dreams, but sometimes they are out of our hands. We can relentlessly pursue physical health, but sickness and disease can still sneak up on us.

All of creation is finite…..and perishable.

We have felt that, haven’t we?

The smallness of creation in comparison to God?

I know I have stared up at the night sky and wondered, along with the Psalmist, “What is man that you are mindful of him?”

But just because all of creation is comparatively small to an infinite God, it doesn’t mean it’s worthless. And that was the point God was making to Julian.

And as Julian considered what God was showing her through this little hazelnut, she came to understand three important truths.

She realized that God created it, He loves it, and He sustains it.

And although that seems elementary, the reality of it hit her hard.

All of creation…..a speck in the hands of an Almighty God.

But He made it. All of it. It is His. As small as it is, it is HIS. Everything. The sparrows that Jesus talks about, as well as the lilies of the field. The animals, the oceans, the smallest creatures. And especially the people. He created it all, and so it is valuable to Him, even if it’s just a minuscule, little nut.

And because He made it…..He deeply loves it. It doesn't matter how small it is compared to Him. That has nothing to do with how much He values His creation; how much He adores and treasures you or me. Yes….we are small compared to God.

So what?

That has nothing to do with your value…..it has everything to do with the infinity of God.

As Julian held the hazelnut, a deep sense of the love of God washed over her. Even this little nut in her hands was immeasurably loved by its Creator.

I want you to feel that today.

I know that many struggle to believe in God's love when they look at a world filled with suffering, poverty, disease, and evil. And sometimes, when those things touch our own lives, that struggle becomes deeply personal.

But the consequences of a broken world do not take away from the boundless love of God. You are God’s creation…..He made you……nutty as you or I may be……and He loves you.

And finally, Julian realized that God is the one who sustains it all. This little hazelnut wasn't going to survive on its own. Its very existence depended on the God who created and loved it.

And I think that may be the part that impacted me most.

Because if I'm being honest, I spend an awful lot of time trying to hold things together myself.

My plans. My relationships. My future. Sometimes even the people I love.

And the truth is, there is so much of life that I simply cannot control. No matter how hard I try, I cannot guarantee that everything will turn out the way I hope it will.

But Julian's little hazelnut reminded me of something.

The reason that tiny, fragile thing continued to exist wasn't because it was strong enough to hold itself together.

It was because God was holding it.

And perhaps that's something this particular geek needed to remember.

All I can say is that within 8 pages of this ancient writing, I was truly encouraged.

My personal fears and anxieties, which feel enormous and insurmountable at times, seem a little less frightening.

The life decisions I am forced to make…the ones that are daunting….that trick me into thinking my entire existence hangs in the balance of that one choice?

Well…..I realize that there is Someone else who has a say in that.

Most of all, on the days I feel like a really tiny fish in a huge ocean of life…..when I feel like I might come apart because I’m so fragile….in the moments where, if I’m being honest, I feel kind of unimportant and worthless……I am reminded of something essential.

Being small doesn't mean being insignificant.

And perhaps I don't have to spend so much of my life trying to hold everything together.

Maybe I can simply learn to trust the One who does.

Because even though I may be a nut….I was made by a God who loves me and who cares for me.

How geeky is that?