Eruption Intervention: Where Are Your Pressure Valves?

In 79 AD it finally blew.

There had been warnings over the years; earthquakes and rumblings that foreshadowed the pressure building under Mt. Vesuvius but for whatever reasons…….lack of technology…….hoping for the best…..turning a blind eye……nobody seems to have noticed that Mt. Vesuvius was headed for an eruption. But in that year, it not only erupted……it blew out more energy than the atomic bomb that destroyed Nagasaki and Hiroshima combined.

As you may have heard, entire towns were destroyed in an instant. The bodies of the dead were interred under the ash, as if they were completely taken unaware. In fact, the villages were so completely preserved by the ash that archaeologists have been able to learn much about the culture of the day. But the consequences for the inhabitants were devastating.

That’s what happens when pressure builds. It finally blows…..and there are consequences.

In my work, I see a lot of men who are getting ready to blow. The pressure is building and often they don’t even recognize the warning signs. So many of them tell me things like, “I have a long fuse but, boy, when I blow…..I blow.” 

Most of the time, they believe they are offering me a testimony to their patience, but I have discovered that this usually means they are simply volcanoes and their eruptions are just a matter of time.

What makes a man a volcano?

Well, an exhaustive explanation would take longer than we have in this blog post, but one of the key indicators is that they are internalizers. They have learned to push down and bury negative emotions.

Disappointment? Push that down.

Hurt feelings? Rub some dirt on them.

Loneliness? Don’t be a sissy.

Anger? Stuff it until you can really lay into someone.

Many guys are not even aware of these emotions. They know they feel something but have never learned how to be aware of them or to identify what’s really going on. And so, they stuff….they bury……they push it down………and the pressure builds.

Vesuvius is rumbling.

And here’s the thing. You can only push those feelings down for so long before they insist on coming out. And, if you have not processed them in healthy ways, they’re coming out in the worst possible ways. Ways that you really wish they didn’t. They come out in the form of addictions……rage…….panic attacks………broken relationships……..and even in health problems like hypertension or heart attacks.

We can bury, suppress, hide, and sweep under the rug…..but Vesuvius will not be contained.

Not forever.

So, what do we do? How do we intervene? How can we stop the volcano from erupting?

Well, for one….we find out pressure valves. Ways that we can release enough steam that the pressure never rises to the level of eruption. This is not the cure-all. Truly, we should be going to the source; working on the root causes of our anger and frustration so that the volcano goes cool. But that takes time and work…..and sometime that feels like too big a task all at once. And so, we start with some pressure valves; ways that we can intervene in a way that we minimize our chances of blowing our tops.

This looks different for all of us. Our valves should match our personalities and interests. Maybe you get out into the woods and hike, allowing the beauty of nature to soothe your soul. Along the same lines can be guys who go fishing or boating. For others, it might mean journaling or painting…..or playing music, spending consistent time exercising. Heck, some guys just need to find someone to talk to. A safe place where they can relieve pressure just by getting it off their chests.

I know guys who wake up every day and take an inventory on what they’re feeling and why….and just this practice keeps the pressure low.

And for men of faith? Well….I would be remiss if I didn’t say that the best pressure valve is taking all the pressure and laying it at the feet of the Lord. Spend time with Him in prayer and solitude. Be honest about what is going on underneath the surface. Release all that build-up of pressure and invite Him into it.

Look, living in our world brings pressure. There is no denying it. Whether that means deadlines at work, relational stress, or just the internal pressure of trying to live up to expectations……we all must navigate through it. And the truth is that many of us never learned how to do that in a healthy way. Because of that, we do the best we can. We stumble through life, trying to learn as we go. It might be a stereotype that men have traditionally not been trained in how to process their emotions, but there is truth to it, nonetheless.

And so……..the pressure builds and then it blows and those around us are often collateral damage.

But there really is a better way, and it starts with finding your pressure valves.

The goal isn’t to eliminate the heat. It’s to honor it before it turns destructive.

Volcanoes don’t erupt because they are evil. They erupt because pressure was ignored too long.

Learn to tend what builds beneath you. Because what is named and released in small ways does not have to explode.

It’s better to “let off some steam” than it is to “blow your top.”